This blog is going to be more of a personal story. It is a little out of my comfort zone, but it has been on my heart to share it. I just hope that it can help someone in my same situation not feel so alone.
Disclaimer: I mean no judgment to others who live differently than I do. (Do you Boo) I just simply want to share my story with others 🙂
My whole life I have always felt a little out of place within my generation. I love old music, movies, antiques, thrifting, you name it.
But the real story is that I have always been a rule follower, people pleaser, and a “goodie two shoes” as some would say but it was always seen as negative by many of my friends. I never went through a big rebellious stage in my teenage years. I’m sure I talked back to my momma a time or two, but I never ran away, went to parties to drink underage, or hung around with the wrong crowd. I WANTED to do the right thing even when everyone around me was telling me to “live a little”, but truthfully I was content with the decisions I had made.
High School was when I started to realize this about myself. Anyone who says that your highschool years are the best years of your life are WRONG. I didn’t hate high school, but there is so much more to life than those four years. In highschool I was involved in my church and my youth group.
With being involved in my church, I had decided to take a purity class, which means I had vowed to wait until marriage to have sex (maybe I’ll talk more about this in another blog). When word got out that I decided to do this so many people mocked me and my husband who was my boyfriend at the time. They would tell me that I was a “prude” or that it was just a show because I wanted to keep my good reputation. I didn’t understand why so many people put me down for making that decision, when I never put them down or mocked them for their decision to do the opposite. I learned to brush off the negative comments and not let them get to me. This is when I started to learn to stand my ground for what I believed in and not care so much about what others thought of me.
Fast forward a few years to being a freshman in college. I loved the friends I had made in college (you know who you are ), but again I still felt out of place. I went into college as a nursing major, but I was struggling with my classes no matter how much studying or tutoring that I did. I wasn’t into the party scene and I was in a long distance relationship with my now husband who was in the military at the time. After struggling my whole next semester and not getting accepted into nursing school I decided that I needed a change of pace.
My husband and I got engaged at only 19 and FINALLY something felt right. My college friends were super supportive and I knew in my heart that this was what I wanted to do and what I had prayed for. Being engaged that young was not the easiest and again we faced some struggles with making a decision that was out of the norm, if you want to read more about that I will link that blog here for you. This was probably the MOST “rebellious” things I had done in my whole 19 years of living. With all of the negativity from my family, on top of my husband being deployed I felt pretty alone during this time. It was supposed to be the most exciting time of my life but it was pretty lonely for awhile.
We got married and I moved to North Carolina to my husband’s duty station. I didn’t know ANYONE there. I had to step out of my comfort zone to make friends and meet new people. I couldn’t get a job for almost 6 months and I applied EVERYWHERE that I could think of. When I finally got a job and started making friends and I felt like I had finally found my place. The people I met understood my struggle of being different from my friends back home and most were married young just like me. I met so many people from different states, cultures, and backgrounds. I ended up meeting two of my best friends there, you know who you are 😉 and they helped me through a lot and I still keep in touch with them every week if not everyday!
Three years later, once my husband got out of the military, we went through the same struggle again of moving away from the life we had built and feeling like outsiders again. We moved back to our hometown and back to square one. In North Carolina everyone was married young and now coming back to our hometown none of our friends are in the same season of life as us. We are building a house, settling into our jobs and looking to grow our family in the next few years. We are happy with where we are but it can also be a lonely time for a little while. We are currently navigating this new season of life and adulthood, but I am so excited for what is to come!
On a lighter note: I am ready to move in, decorate my new home, have my own little garden, and eventually my own bee hives (that is my real dream) Im telling you I am a grandma in a 22 year olds body!
Being an old soul in a new generation can be challenging and a little lonely at times, but I am so proud of my husband and I for being true to ourselves and doing what is best for us despite what everyone around us has to say. That is easier said than done sometimes, but if you struggle with this too feel free to comment or email me. I would love to hear your story!
My biggest piece of advice is that no matter what anyone else has to say be true to yourself and what is best for you. Pray about it and give it to God, he will always lead you to where you’re supposed to be.
Riley Jo XOXO