Disclaimer: I know this is a more personal and controversial topic, but I want to share my story and experience. I won’t be going into all the nitty gritty details, but I will be sharing my view and opinion. I want to be as real and honest as possible in my blog posts. This post is not to shame or judge people, I just want to share my experience to help others who may be in the same situation.
I know this blog is a little different than my normal content, but this is something that has really been on my heart to share. For a few weeks now I have been trying to figure out the best way to share this story, so I am going to put it into words the best that I can.
So lets talk about sex….
I know in the Christian community talking about sex is seen as a taboo topic, and most of the time it is avoided. Now, I’m not saying to put your sex life out in the open for everyone to hear. However, I think it should be normalized to talk about sex because it is a natural part of life and God created it to be a good thing.
One thing that stuck with me from my purity class was that our youth leaders and pastors never told us sex was a bad thing. Instead, they took the time to teach us that God intended it to be within the boundaries of marriage, and that it was a GOOD thing. I think a lot of Christians can be scared into thinking that sex is a bad thing and it can affect them when they do get married because they still have the notion in their head that it is wrong or dirty. Or they rebel as a teenager because their parents tell them not to do it.
Now, I am not going to lie waiting until marriage isn’t easy all the time. Waiting is not a popular trend amongst young people. You have to deal with peer pressure, influence from social media, society, music….it is EVERYWHERE. If it is something you have decided for yourself you are going to have to deal with the temptation, being tested in your faith, and in your decision because it is not the “popular” thing to do.
For some comedic relief: I have a funny story that I am going to tell that just shows how you can be tested and how God has a sense of humor.
So, I went to the ceremony for the end of my purity class and my now mother in law asked me to come over after the ceremony because they had a present for me. So, my parents drove me over to their house and to my SURPRISE, my boyfriend (now husband) had come home for leave since he was in the military….THE DAY OF MY PURITY CLASS GRADUATION…. In uniform…. And I hadn’t seen him for like 6 months…. TALK ABOUT TEMPTATION! That story has ALWAYS stuck with me haha! Moral of the story you will be tempted!
On a more serious note, waiting can be such a positive experience, but I did face a lot of backlash. In highschool, my husband and I were a target for jokes and mocking. People would ask my husband “Why are you dating her if she’s not going to give it up?” or “She doesnt really love you if she doesnt have sex with you” and it was a really hard time hearing all of these things but I knew in my heart that it is what I wanted to do. My husband always respected my decision and stood up for me and for our relationship. HONESTLY, it’s nobody else’s business besides you and your significant others.
I made this decision because I wanted to be able to give that to my spouse who I knew I would spend the rest of my life with. It honestly made our relationship a lot stronger by going through that stage of our life. When my husband joined the military the mocking only got worse (all of my military people know how that environment is). However, We both stayed strong in our decision and when we got married that helped us to have a different type of bond by sharing something that is on such a personal and intimate level.
Frankly, you will both be inexperienced and not know what you are doing, but in the beginning NOBODY does. That is all a part of the experience. Whether you choose to wait until marriage or not. That also applies to anything in life, you are not going to be good at anything the first time. Learning and growing with each other can help to strengthen the bond in your marriage because you get to know each other like no one else does.
If you choose to wait until marriage you’re labeled as a “prude”, and if you choose to have sex before marriage you are labeled as “easy” so you really cant win no matter what decision you make. Someone will always have something to say!
Again, I know this isn’t the content I normally post. I just felt it in my heart to share my experience for someone who has gone through it, is going through it, or someone who wants to pursue waiting until marriage. I don’t want to make anyone feel ashamed or judged because we all sin and no sin is greater than another! This was just to share some of the challenges I faced in a really intimate portion of my life. In my blog, I want to be as transparent and honest as possible even if only one person can relate to me!
As always, feel free to message me or comment with any questions or if you just want to chat!
Until next time…….
Riley Jo XOXO