How To Embrace A Season Of Loneliness

We all have times in our lives where we might find ourselves in a season of loneliness. You might feel like you don’t have a place, or that you don’t have a “tribe”, but as you get older and go through changes in your life these seasons of feeling a little out of place can show you so much about yourself. It can allow you to work on yourself and if you are a spiritual person it can allow God to show you new lessons and dive into His purpose for your life. 

I am going to talk about some of the things I have learned and that I am still learning to embrace in a season where you feel like you are in the  “space between” in adulthood. 

Ever since I can remember I have felt a little out of place and haven’t really connected with many people my age and what they wanted to do in certain times in their life. When I went to college I struggled in my classes, didn’t drink or party, and just felt like I wasn’t in the right place. I decided to get married to my husband, move away from everything I have ever known and start fresh…. Talk about a lonely time. 

Since my husband was in the military at the time  I met a ton of people in my same situation who were all young, married, and that I could relate to. During this season of my life I finally found a group of people who understood my situation and I made some of my best friends. 

But….. being a military spouse can be a very lonely lifestyle sometimes, you move around a lot, your spouse is always gone for training, deployment and can work some looong hours. 

Have a Confidant 

One of my biggest pieces of advice when embracing a season of loneliness is having someone to talk to who can relate to you, that you can check in with. The best friendships are the ones where you don’t talk everyday, but you know that they will be there for you whenever you need them. Whenever my husband was in the military a lot of other wives had spouses who were on the same deployments or training as my husband. Having them to talk to helped to pass the time and help to give me a little bit of company. 

Start a New Hobby

If you find yourself in a lonely season in your life, reflect on your interests or something that you have always wanted to do. I LOVE watercolor paint and that is a hobby I love to do even if I’m not the best at it. Whether you like to paint, sew, read, workout, doing some gardening, finding a hobby can help to occupy your mind and give you a purpose. 

Take Time To Reflect

During a time where you feel a little out of place, it is the best time to reflect on how you are feeling and maybe get into your Bible to see what this season is teaching you. Taking a step back can show you the bigger picture as cheesy as it may sound. I had to do some soul searching and realize that not always doing the “popular” thing is okay and I am right where I am supposed to be. 

Lastly, 

Do Some Self Care

Take some time for yourself during each week whether this is doing a face mask, reading your favorite book, or getting your nails done do a little something special for yourself. These seasons will come and go in life. Always remember that you have to fill up your cup before you can fill up someone elses and I think that is SUCH an important lesson.

This was a little bit of a different style blog  but I think it is important to understand that we ALL go through different seasons in our lives. It is okay to be different than others and take a different path. You can’t spend your whole life comparing yours to someone else’s. Seasons of loneliness or feeling out of place can teach us so much about ourselves,and help us to be who we are meant to be. 

I hope this can help you get through a season of loneliness in your life

Until the next one!

Riley Jo XOXO

5 Things to Know When Building a House

This is our first time building a house so I am not an expert, but I wanted to share some things we have learned and are learning along the way to hopefully help your house building journey go a little more smoothly. 

We are having a contractor build our house for us so this may be a little different if you are building your house on your own (props to you!) but I hope these tips will be useful to you! 

  1. Prepare Yourself 

Building a house can be a little stressful at times and it is easy to get impatient! However, it is important to trust the process. Our home build is going fairly quickly, but the amount of time can depend on your builder, size of your home, even the season you’re building in. It is important to prepare yourself for the timeline of the build but I promise it is worth it, because in the end you have a home that is EXACTLY how you want it! 

  1. PLAN….and Then Plan Some More

If you are building a house, planning is SUCH an important part of the process! When you meet with your builder to pick the finishes on the inside, have an idea of what you want in the house. My husband and I have the same style (THANK GOODNESS) but if you and your partner don’t, it can make the process a little more challenging. So have a plan of the color you want for your cabinets, what kind of flooring you want, paint colors, tile colors, etc trust me it is so important and will help the process to be less stressful. 

What I did was put together a “mock” interior design plan on Google Slides with my Pinterest Inspo pictures to help pinpoint my interior design style! I have a separate blog about that, and I will link it here for you. This helped us so much when picking out our finishes for inside and outside of our home, it was definitely a lifesaver!

  1. Take A LOT of Pictures

Pictures are nice to have to look back on if you want to put them in an album to have for a keepsake, but they are also helpful if you have any issues with the construction of your home. 

This can also be helpful later down the road if you have any issue with any of the wiring,plumbing, etc and you have a picture of where they are located. 

We take pictures of concerns we have during the build and send them to our builder for clarification, this can be helpful because it shows them what is going on rather than trying to explain it over a phone call.  

  1. If You Really Want Something, Do it Now Rather Than Later

One of the main tips my parents gave us was to get what we want now rather than trying to add it later. For example, we wanted laminate flooring throughout the house.(Because dogs haha and future kids).  It was a little more expensive to do that, but it will save us from ripping up carpet or vinyl flooring later and having to spend more money to replace it ourselves. This way it is also under the warranty of the home!

If you can swing it within your budget it is definitely worth it to splurge a little bit on something that you really want so you don’t have to change it and probably spend more money on it in the future. Trust me in a few years you will be glad that you did it!

  1. Visit the Build Site Often

This is my most important tip of all during the construction of your home! We trust our builder to do a great job on the home, but we are all human and make mistakes. Especially since Sub-contractors do a lot of the work on the home, things can get lost in translation. If you can visit the build site daily that is best, but if not I recommend going at least 3 times a week just to check the progress and make sure everything looks correct and that there’s not a wall where it;s not supposed to be!

Some houses will go faster than others but it is important to go check when everything is being framed to ensure your layout is correct. Another important stage is the final stages when the finishes are going in just to make sure your paint colors, cabinets, countertops and other interior finishes are what you chose. 

Building a house is one of the most exciting experiences, but it can be stressful at times! Don’t sweat the small stuff and be patient, it will all come together in time. Try to enjoy the process and to keep your mind busy you can always plan how you want to decorate the inside 😉

I hope these tips were helpful to you, and if you are building a house or have built one before please share your story or your favorite part of building in the comments! Until next time……

Riley Jo XOXO